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The Starfish Story: the difference we make

At SafeLives, we believe in changing lives. Since our inception two decades ago, we’ve carried the Starfish Story in our hearts, using it to remind ourselves—and professionals across the country—why every single intervention matters.

From our very first Idva training intake, every practitioner who completes our foundation course—whether Idva, Ypva or Outreach—receives a small starfish memento to symbolise that commitment. Today, we’re proud to run the flagship Idva course in the UK, equipping thousands of frontline professionals to make a difference, one life at a time.

 

The Starfish Story

By Antoine de St. Exupéry

Once, there was a man walking down a deserted beach at dawn. In the distance, he saw a young girl picking up starfish that had been washed ashore. One by one, she threw them back into the water.

As the man approached, he asked what she was doing. She replied, “I’m throwing these starfish back into the ocean. The tide is low, and if I don’t throw them back, they’ll die from lack of oxygen.”

The man looked around and shook his head. “But there are thousands of starfish on this beach. You can’t possibly save them all. And this is happening on hundreds of beaches up and down the coast. Can’t you see that you really can’t make a difference?”

The girl smiled, bent down, picked up another starfish, and gently tossed it into the sea. “Well, it made all the difference to that one.”

Making families safer, sooner

Working to end domestic abuse, we often hear that this issue will always exist—that there will always be too many survivors, too many children, and too many perpetrators to reach.

The scale of the challenge can feel overwhelming. But we know that every time a professional intervenes, every time a survivor is believed and supported, every time we push for change in the system, lives are transformed.

For that survivor, for that child, for that family—it makes all the difference.

We know we cannot change the response or outcomes for everyone overnight. But we refuse to accept that domestic abuse is inevitable. The work we do matters, and for those whose lives we touch, it changes everything.

 

Honouring the work of the frontline

Frontline professionals stand between survivors and danger, providing safety, advocacy, and hope. They do this despite high caseloads, stretched resources, and the emotional toll of witnessing trauma first-hand.

Yet, they keep going—because to each survivor they support, their work means everything.

We will keep demanding better from the systems meant to protect people, and we will stand with those holding those systems together, often against impossible odds.

To every professional: Your dedication inspires us. SafeLives will keep listening, amplifying your voices, and pushing for a future where frontline professionals are valued, survivors are heard, and we move beyond crisis response to real prevention, safety, and recovery.

Because even if we can’t reach everyone, we can make all the difference to those we do.

 

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