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Men and Boys: Voices of male victims

Research findings on men and boys’ experiences of domestic abuse

In Summer 2019, as part of a broad piece of work gathering the voices of men and boys from all backgrounds, we asked male survivors of domestic abuse to share their experiences with us. A big thank you to the more than 200 men who took part in this work.

The information we gathered will help to inform our Safe Young Lives programme, as well as our wider work, with the ultimate aim of ending domestic abuse. It will also help us to amplify the voices of male survivors, and make sure their views and experiences are heard by those with the power to make change.

  • 80%

    said their mental health was affected a lot

    by the behaviour they experienced

  • 58%

    did not receive help or support

    The most common reasons for this were that support was not available for male victims of domestic abuse

Key findings

  • Dynamics of abuse
    The most common behaviours experienced were being put down, gaslighting, and use of the environment to instil fear
  • Impact of abuse
    Nearly two thirds (64%) of respondents said that the behaviours experienced lead to them feeling suicidal or having suicidal thoughts. A third (33%) had self-harmed
  • Experiences of help-seeking and support
    72% of respondents told someone about the abuse and/or the impact it had. The most common person to tell was a family member, friend or neighbour or counsellor. 26% did not tell anyone

 

Please please tell someone. And know that when you survive this you are worthy of love. That you can and will find ways to feel safe. And don’t ever feel ashamed when the memory and shadow of that trauma appears. You are stronger than it and you WILL feel safe again.

Survivor

Further research and reading

A group of four boys walking away down a street

Men and boys

Research on young men and boys’ experiences of abuse, views on masculinity and understanding of healthy relationships.

Survivor experiences

Our survivor experiences page is being updated; check back later for more information.