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Melani Morgan is the SafeLives lead on DA Matters, a change programme for Police.

Yesterday I read the tragic news that Leanne McKie's husband has been charged with her murder. Leanne was a detective. Her husband is also a police officer. My thoughts immediately went to their children, her family and friends and her colleagues. 

It also took me back to my own lived experience of domestic abuse as a serving police officer. I was reminded how impossible it seemed to tell my colleagues what was happening to me at home. Shame and fear of judgement stopped me. I excelled at work to prove to myself and maybe others, that a police officer can be being abused at home , survive it and still be capable of doing a good job helping others.

After leaving my abuser and having made myself safe I vowed to ask my colleagues if they were being harmed at home, every time, if I saw any signs of coercion, control or violence. 

We don't know yet about Leanne McKie’s life before her murder and whether she suffered abuse at the hands of her murderer, but if she did let’s try and stop it happening again. Let’s all try to ask our police colleagues how they are when we notice something odd or worrying. Let's all give reassurance and offers of help to escape abuse if needed. Let’s all enquire when a Police colleague appears to show signs that they may be an abuser. Police officers do a tough, relentless and sometimes thankless job. Let’s ensure we give them as much support as possible, especially when they suffer the worldwide epidemic that is domestic abuse.

If you are experiencing abuse from a partner or ex-partner, or are worried about someone else, support is available.