13th May 2020
This blog was shared with us by Sophie*, a survivor of domestic abuse, as part of our Reach In campaign. Find out more about the campaign and what to do if you're worried about someone.
When I was 19, I reached in, together with another family member, to help a friend who suffered physical violence and self-harm in an early relationship, but I didn't feel I deserved the same help when I was living with coercive control and emotional/financial abuse because it 'wasn't physical'. The person I helped then helped me years later to see that it was still domestic abuse, that I could ask for specialist help, that I was at risk.
Living with domestic abuse is like living in physical and emotional lockdown. The view from outside, from supportive friends, family and neighbours, is so important - it shines a light, gives you a glimpse of how life should or could be, and shows you that others have a different view from the person causing harm.
A few words, a gesture or sign of support, and information when it is safe to give it, can make all the difference, now or even years ahead. You don't have to build the whole road ahead to safety, you can put stepping stones down for people to begin a journey, to make changes that could even save lives.